I Am Sooooo Lazy

It was a lazy, lazy day off today... I thought about going for a walk - does that count?
I spent the day catching up on some episodes of True Blood and doing bits of housework... True Blood is addictive and just so darn good!

The Food Report: Breakfast was a lovely bowl of Special K... and for lunch, I went all out... I had... Fruit Toast... mainly because it was about the only thing in the cupboard. It was either that or some frozen chips from the freezer (which would've been deep fried) so I'm thinking the toast was a good choice... and due mostly to budget concerns... having some streamed Dim Sims for dinner... extravagant, I know. You're jealous of my wealth and decadent lifestyle, I know. lol

So... that's about it... Tomorrow is another work day... lucky me... which is actually fine. After having almost a full week off cos I was sick.. and last week, hardly having any hours... this week is busy at work.. which will be good for the bank account. We seemed to have gone through all our money real fast.. and my pay day this week is going to be barely worth it, cos I've only done 17 hours for the fortnight... No Sick Pay for us casuals!! So... the couple of weeks is going to be hard, budget wise... which makes things harder diet wise...

Why is that fruit and vegetables and healthier things are more expensive? Is it because more people eat the crappy bad for you stuff... making the cost of the decent good for you food more expensive? I don't get it... maybe people would eat better if it were cheaper. It is cheaper for us to go to McDonald's a buy a "Value Meal" for $6 or $7 each... than cook most of the stuff that we do cook. I'm sure there are budget recipes and shit for cooking at home... but, you know... I like to eat nice things... and it seems that buy the time you buy Chicken and stuff to cook with it... and then vegetables to go with it... it's cheaper, quicker and easier just to swing past Macca's and get a McChicken Meal. But that's how I got in this situation in the first place, right?

Oh, I finish work at 7 o'clock... couldn't possibly cook... let's just get take away... BAD

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY...

But, that is something we'll be working on...

Oh and by the way... that other picture is me in a Star Trek Ferengi mask I got off Ebay. I've never seen them before, so I think they're kinda rare-ish... so, I bought this one and a different one... I know, I know... I'm a geek... but it's a good addition to my collection! I'm a Geek, I know!

So... anyway... that's my rant for tonight...

If you haven't seen True Blood... Watch it!

Good Night Peoples!

Gazzy

M is for Monday

It seems the photos are uploading alright now... fingers crossed it stays that way!

Well, it's Monday... which for me, means I have tomorrow off! Yay for me! Tomorrow is my only day off this week.. busy week ahead of me! Lucky me, huh?

So, Special K for breakfast this morning.. followed by a total of 15minutes on the rowing machine... not much I know, but fuck my back is sore now.. I'm hoping it's just cos of new muscles being used and shit... I'll be fine... Need to "Harden the Fuck Up!" Lunch before work.. Coffee and Sandwich from Cafe Bliss - Yum Yum... and come home and David's cooking Ravioli for dinner tonight... Finished late, hence the late dinner. Oh well... I know Ravioli (and pasta in general) isn't the best of choices, but you know... oh well.. Better than KFC or something! And then, just cos I got used to it the last couple of weeks and now I have to try to get rid of it... I had a frozen yoghurt (Mango and Passionfruit) for dessert... yum yum... naughty, but yum.

So... overall... pretty good day. No between meal snacks... nothing deep fried, a decent sized shift at work to keep me distracted... and a short but effective go on the rowing machine!

Motivation is my issue though... I already feel like having some toast or some chocolate or something carb-heavy... why is that we crave carbs so much? And how can we stop that from happening? Suggestions?

Anyone read Dante's Inferno?

So... I dunno... I think I've had a good day... and hopefully if I focus and have more good days.. (consecutively) that it will become a Non-Effort and will become normal for me to avoid bad things...

Anyway.. moving on from the food issues... Halloween is starting to come together... we have plans and props are being made and painted and prepared... it's gonna be a fun night... so you all better be thinking of costumes...

Emily and Keira are still in the hospital. There were some issues when Keira was born... hence the extended stay in hospital. They are both doing really well now and should be going home tomorrow. Poor Em, stuck in hospital... must be so boring... but Keira is a beautiful little baby. I'm sure I'll post more pictures soon!

Alright, well... I'm posting late cos I finished work late, so I'm signing off.

Good Night...

Gazzy

The Sunday Times

Spent most the day hanging out and doing some shopping with my mum. Shopping for baby stuff and stuff for my sister... still in hospital.. for tonight at least. So, we went shopping for presents and supplies.. Flowers and blankets and crappy gossip magazines and chocolates and stuff... the usual, so I'm told..

Last night we had my folks and my brother here for dinner which was nice. After being off limits cos I had the flu it was good to catch up with them all.. plus we're about a 1 minute drive from the hospital where my sister is, so I guess I'm just convenient for them! lol... but it was nice to catch up anyways.. While they were here, I mentioned something about my drama classes and stuff from high school and how a friend of mine and I wanted to do a play and anyway, Dad asked me why I don't do anything like that anymore... got me to thinking... why don't I?

And that got me to thinking.. that I don't really do anything "artsy" anymore. I used to do my things and enjoy them.. And I guess that's why I've become a bit obsessed with this Halloween party. I get to make things and scare people.. it's kinda like if I was building a theme park or something, you know.. it's a bit creative and inventive and crafty and Fun!! I guess it's an outlet I haven't had for awhile.. and I think this blog is a bit of that too... an outlet...

So, I had an idea a while ago about doing some paintings things with some religious symbols and stuff.. (if I get around to doing it, I'll post some pics)... so I went in search of some religious symbols on Google and stuff.. And I stumbled across this "church"... The Westboro Baptist Church in the US. They have several pages online... God Hates Fags, God Hates America, God Hates the World... (including Australia). They are basically a church devoted to preaching the sin of homosexuality. To extremes. Australia is doomed because we have decent human rights law for same-sex couples. The faggot poster boy of Australia is Heath Ledger who is in hell for spitting in god's face acting gay in Brokeback Mountain. They thank god for the bushfires that killed people... Australia deserved it because it's a Fag Enabling country... They picket the funerals of people that have died of aids, people who were openly gay, soldiers who died in war (because America is trying to spread it's fag filth across the world)... it's unbelievable.... It's no wonder that gay teenagers still fear coming out... and that they still commit suicide from fear... this kind of intolerance and hatred preaching is horrible... I found this quote on their website

"God does not hate them because they are homosexuals; they are homosexuals because God hates them."

Well, imagine growing up in a religious family as a homosexual and hearing these messages. I went to a private school and was bombarded with some of this religious nonsense. I can totally understand why these kids kill themselves or live a life of lies and secrets... it's bullshit. It's not right...

Sorry... I didn't mean to get on here and fill my blog with this stuff... I was just reading it before I started writing this and I guess I got a bit carried away. It's just unreal to me that they can do this stuff and have those hateful websites...

OK.. Anyways... tomorrow is my new beginning.. so keep reading and please send me some motivation and good luck and whatever else you've got... I'm hoping to have a renewed sense of self and motivation tomorrow... I seriously want to get back on track completely.. And I will....

Stay Tuned...

Gazzy

Happy Birthday Keira Jane

Well... it finally happened. My sister gave birth to a gorgeous little girl, Keira Jane... Both are doing well... those pics taken less than an hour after she was born, tiny little thing. Wonderful.

So, it got me to thinking... I'm getting older... and is having a child something I would consider now or in the future? I guess as I do get older and think about the future and the fact we are all mortal and all here for such a short time, part of me feels that having a child is something I would find comforting when I'm older... I think having a child to carry on as part of yourself is something that is appealing and I think I may regret not having a child when I get older and older.... But do I want to have children?

Probably not for me. I think I would be a better uncle than father... I don't know...

But it's not like it would be that easy for me to have a child anyway... How would I feel about raising a child with same-sex parents? Would my lifestyle and my experience of the world be one that would I want to share and raise a child in anyway? I know some people believe that gay men and women shouldn't raise children... I don't think that. I think that if a child is raised in a loving, caring, supportive and safe environment with positive influences and experiences then there can be no bad... But, that doesn't mean I think I have the capacity to raise a child.

What do you think about same-sex parents? (please don't censor yourself for my benefit.. honesty is always best).

Moving on...

Finished off my Crunchy Nut Cornflakes for breaky this morning. Won't buy them again for a while... cos they's not very good for you and they are sinfully delicious... 2 minutes noodles for lunch today... and David's cooking Spaghetti now for dinner.

I slept in this morning and didn't get my usual amount of caffeine and nicotine before leaving for work... and didn't get a chance to have my coffee from Cafe Bliss before work (which I have Every Day I Work). And, I tell ya... I was in such a foul mood most of the day... I was cranky and I was swearing and frustrated and really felt like hitting someone. And why? Because I didn't get my drugs before work... Caffeine and Nicotine... unbelievable... I felt heaps better after getting some coffee and cigs into me after work... Isn't it bad that my body and my mind are so dependant on these drugs... I seriously felt like leaving work half way through my shift, I felt that bad...

But, David and I are going to the doc to get some quit smoking drugs... so we can get off those nasty expensive disgusting cigarettes. As for coffee, well... I have to learn to drink more of it quicker so I never have withdrawals again! lol.

Alright folks... I'm off... Emily & Ben, if you're reading this... congrats on Keira, she's gorgeous. Maddie and her are going to get into mischief together in a few short years, I bet!

Good Night Alll.

Gazzy

Motivation

Still no pics I'm afraid. Think it might be an issue with our computer - we've been having major technical issues and we can't afford a new computer - despite needing one desperately! lol

So, my motivation seems to have disappeared lately... I need to set a new start date and stick to it and just do it. Monday... Monday will be my new beginning!

I just can't seem to stay away from crap. I've said it before and I'm saying it again... food (sugary, carbo loaded, fatty, glorious food) is addictive... just like drugs. And today was harder to stay away. Before I've managed to be at least half or kinda good... but I got home from work today and deep-fried some chicken nuggets and some chips we had in the freezer (they've been in there for a while)... and for dinner tonight... Pizza... gloriously horrible greasy fatty heart attack inducing weight gaining fat making doughy meaty cheesy death of Pizza. And it tasted so good. I have been taking photos every day and trying to upload them and when I looked at the picture of the pizza I had just eaten (almost the whole thing) I wanted to throw up and cry and laugh at myself all at the same time. It looked so horrid and so terrible and so bad for me... and I ate it. Why? What did caving in and eating pizza do for me?

Well... I've been thinking about that... Nothing. I gained nothing from eating that pizza, except feeling like crap for doing so and probably some more fat around my waist...
Sure, it tasted good. As far as satisfying my hunger, it did the job... but, I'm sure a steak and some salad would've hit the spot just as well, but I still had the pizza..

Could it be lazyness? Maybe I just can't be bothered cooking? I dunno. I don't really get it. I know what I should and shouldn't do.. I know what is good and bad... but that knowledge just doesn't seem to connect with action lately...

Meagan (a very frequent commenter.. and Sister in Law) said that I would get my motivation back when I'm feeling 100% better (after the flu and asthma). Maybe it's just that. I'm feeling pretty good... a hell of a lot better than this time last week... but yeah, probably about 85% or 90%... so, maybe that's it.... Maybe Monday will be a whole new Motivated Me?!

Fuck I hope so!

(I know, I have a potty mouth! sorry!)

So... that's the plan... Motivation Monday is just a few days away... let's make that my new threshold... my new start... the start of the better me... And to help me do this... I will make some promises to you all now... ready...

1. Walk to work at least twice next week. I must take a photo of something different each day, on the way, that I couldn't possibly take from the car. This is dependant on the weather of course. If it's pissing down with rain the whole week - fuck that shit! But, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.
2. I must use the rowing machine (which is actually fun) at least 3 times next week. Again, photo of each day must be taken. I will set up the camera to take a pic... and I'll jump on. There is no excuse for this not to happen, as it is not dependant on the weather.
3. Food choices... photos of everything, as per usual... If there are issues with uploading here on the blog, must post pictures on Facebook or some other website... If all else fails, save photos until technical difficulties are sorted out.. and post them on Facebook as a week long photo blog.

and that's it... sounds simple enough... let's see how I go over the weekend...

Enjoy your weekend!

Gazzy

Weekly Weigh In

Hey guys

Another non-photo night tonight.. don't know what's going on... hopefully will fix itself.

So, it's weigh in day...!

And, there's no change from last week. No gain or loss... which is actually get cos I was expecting to be reporting a gain today!

I'm sorta lost a fair bit of motivation since I got sick and it's harder than I thought it would be to get back into the swing of things... but I will. I am still determined....

Tonight's entry is kinda late... there's good TV on Thursday nights... I'm loving The Amazing Race this year... and True Beauty cracks me up cos they are SO up themselves. I wish I was pretty and self-obsessed... lol...

Alrighty, I will post a decent entry tomorrow night... I promise...

Good Night All...

Gazzy

Plans, Plans, Plans

OK... First things first... computer will still not let me upload pictures. Sorry guys.

The Food Report: Breakfast this morning... I finished off the Nutri-Grain that I had left. I had my last tablet of that stupid steroid thing I was on... coffee, coffee, smoke, smoke... went to Cafe Bliss and bought a coffee.. and had a smoke, and a smoke, and another smoke.. and started work...
Got home, coffee & smoke. Made a sandwich for lunch - Ham and Cheese on grain bread.. and for dinner tonight we got a bit extravagant and had... Wait for it... it's special... we had Sausages... with a hot spud and some greens with a bit of gravy... yum yum.

So today we've been planning out the rest of the year... like... till Christmas. People want to know what we're doing and when we're doing it and all that jazz... so we've been scheduling. How much fun is that? Birthdays, Halloween, Mum goes overseas, more Birthdays, Bucks and Hen's Nights, a Wedding, more birthday, another birthday and Christmas... It just seems like it never ends. I mean, it's nice to have things to do and I really enjoy catching up with family and friends and having fun and a couple of wines and whatever... but, scheduling for 5 or 6 months... crazyness. Let's all hope it works out how we've done it! lol..

So it's weigh in day tomorrow... and it's gonna wake me up a bit. Since I got sick haven't been that good... and I realise this... and tomorrow.. I know I'm gonna have gained.. it'll be my new beginning - again. Start back into the running next week (Damian - hope you're reading! lol). Hopefully get the treadmill soon enough too...

Money sucks. I've been trying to do a budget for a while... I hate trying to figure out who gets how much of the money I worked for and how little of it I have left for stuff... Communism has it's upsides I think! lol - kidding! God, no!

Does anyone watch True Blood? I've just started watching Season 2 of this show... and it is absolutely fantastic. If you like vampires and stuff and haven't seen it, track it down, because it is really, really great. If you're a Twilight fan though, it may be too hardcore and adult for you... lol... Twilight is tweeny - did not like - sorry... I know heaps of people like it, but, seriously... it's pretty weak.

So, what else been happening? Not much... So, with all these plans at least I know what I'm doing.. add in running and work outs and stuff.. and things should go swimmingly. Hopefully, I'll be all slimmed down for the wedding in December... wanna look my best. I know David will scrub up nice in a suit!

Alrighty, I'm off... Comments please people.. haven't had any for a couple of days - but I've had people talk to me about the blog, so I know you're reading... let me know... Leave a comment. Abuse me, Question me.. whatever... love to hear from you all! Good Night. See ya tomorrow.

Gazzy.

Another Tuesday

As you may know, I have Tuesday's off. So after hardly working because I've been sick.. and now feeling better and shit... I've had another day off. Yay! My bank isn't going to happy with me on pay day. Oh well...

So another day off... and another day of not doing much. I slept in heaps this morning.. breakfast was Crunchy Nut (yet again, yum yum). Cos I slept in and had breakfast so late, I wasn't hungry till this afternoon... and I had some of these new wholegrain chip things I found... they're not that great. They're alright. And, don't stress too much, I didn't eat them all. I ate about half of them... they weren't great but they did hit the spot and that was lunch (naughty I know). And for dinner tonight, we're having Stir Fry. A spicy one from Dave's Noodles. Yes, take away, I know. But neither of us could be bothered cooking.

Now on yesterday's post I told everyone to get mad at me for not posting pictures... well, I'm sorry... but it wont let me upload photos for some reason. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please feel free to get mad at me as I told you to. But, it just wouldn't work.

I spent the day watching some TV, cleaning up, working on our budget a bit, and spent 15mins or so on the rowing machine - that was about all I could do. Breathing is still a bit of an issue. Thanks asthma. Also did some more Halloween prep... should be fun! Looking forward to it.

I haven't really started back on the running/exercise thing yet. Gonna wait till next week to get back into it. Give my lungs a little bit longer to recover...

And next week we're off to see the doctor to quit smoking... so that will definitely help with the lungs and the breathing and the not feeling like I'm dying when I do things...

So, yeah... thats about it my pretties. (There was at least 2 Wizard of Oz references in tonight's post... how gay am I? ... Don't answer that!)

Thanks Guys...
comments, questions, queries are always welcome... love hearing from yas. Keep 'em coming!
Ask me Anything?? I'm an open book! :)

Gazzy

Can You Believe It??

Guess what?! It has been 60 days since I started this little lifestyle change thing. Today is Day 60. So for 60 days I've been more careful about what I eat and tried (sometimes) to do more exercise and activity. I've hurt my knee, I've had the flu... I now have asthma (which may or may not go away)... and I've set some goals... Burnie 10 in October, Santa Dash in December... Vegas, Baby in August next year... and I've lost 8.2kgs! Overall, I think everything has been for the better... When I first started I felt all these changes in my mind. I felt different towards myself and the people around me. I started paying attention to things I wanted in life and things I could do without and these things, at that time, had to black and white. Either things/people were helpful, supportive and deserved to be a part of my life because they help improve me as a person... or things/people were not and therefore did not deserve to be a part of my life....

I still believe that... but not in Black and White. Some things, most things are gray. (For example lets say Great things are White.. and Bad things are Black). The people around you have their own lives and issues and things going on. And what makes this life interesting is to explore the relationships you have. It's not very often that you will make a friend or be with a partner or have things in your life that are completely White - as in completely compatible. I think the trick is to find the people that are slightly "off white" that can impact your life in a positive way. These people would probably consider you "off white" to their lives as well.

We need to surround ourselves with positive people, positive situations... Positive Vibes...

So, okay... Positive positive positive!

Moving on...

Breakfast this morning was yummy Crunchy Nut Cornflakes - not the healthiest of breakfast options but they is yummy. I actually skipped lunch today... didn't mean to. Had a follow-up doctor's appointment this morning... and then I got home and started doing stuff and the next thing you know... I'm heading off to work... I did have my usual pre-work Latte though. Yum. Thanks Cafe Bliss! And for dinner tonight, Parma with a pasta side dish. Yum Yum in my Tum Tum.

Speaking of doctors.... David and I have made an appointment to see the doctor for this new Stop-Smoking drug everyone's been raving about. Wonderful! We'll be able to save some money - or at least spend it on things that don't give us cancer. Yay! So, that's Tuesday next week and I will keep you posted on that...

Now, I know I was sick and shit and I haven't been extra good on what I've been eating... but I'm gonna try to get back on track tomorrow. My dosage of those drugs that keep me awake and increase my appetite has been cut back... and I'll only be on them for 2 more days. So, I will be being good again tomorrow.. I promise.

Part of having this blog is to make myself accountable, as I've mentioned before... So I promise from tomorrow onwards I will take a photo of EVERYTHING I eat. That's another way for me to be accountable. If I don't post a pic of what I have for lunch or breakfast or dinner or ANYTHING from here on in... Please, someone, leave a comment and ask me why not? If I talk about having a coffee at Bliss before work - Photo Evidence.... This is a must. So, please, if I don't do it and I don't mention why there's no photo - have a go at me.

Alrighty... thats me for the night...

Oh, by the way, that other pic up there is another Halloween prop. We've been building and painting and getting prepared a fair bit lately... thought I'd post some blurry pics to keep you guessing... Trust me, you don't wanna see that in crystal clarity - it's gross. Love It!

Alright folks. I'm off!

Gazzy.

Back to Work

So, I went back to work today.. only for 4 hours in the afternoon, but after a week off... that was enough.

I'm still not too worried about what I'm eating, cos I'm still not feeling 100%. Don't worry, I'm not going crazy and eating heaps of junk or chocolate or drinking soft drinks or anything RADICAL like that... But, when I'm sick, I like to eat stuff that seems filling and substantial. So we've been having pasta and sandwiches and potato and stuff I really was avoiding before.

The other reason I don't really want (or feel the need to report) at this particular time, is the doctor put me on these drugs that keep me awake most the night and increase my appetite. And evening snacking has always been the hardest thing for me... I really am trying to control myself and I haven't gone crazy... I've bought some sugar free lollies... some apples... some Frozen Yogurt.. and have managed to stay away from David's chocolate.. (so far, so good).

The doctor seemed to think I wouldn't be on these tablets for a very long time, I'm hoping only a few more days (gotta see her Monday to find out). And then I will get back to being serious about this thing. It's hard when you're not feeling 100% and these drugs are playing with me.

So, anyway...

Damian (running partner) has convinced me to enter the Burnie 10 with him. For those of you that don't know what the fuck that is... it's a 10km run thing they have here every year. This year is the 25th Anniversary and blah, blah... So, Damian and I are gonna do it. Having said that... I don't think the big plan is to run the whole thing. We haven't Really discussed it, but I reckon we'll try to run at least 5km of it and walk the rest. As far as I am concerned... I don't care if we walk the whole damn thing... as long as we do it. That is held in October... the 18th I think... so we've got time to get ready... I'll keep you updated on our progress...

The other thing happening in October is Halloween... we've gone a little crazy in collecting together some stuff for the party in the last coupla weeks. As you can see above, we've been busy with making tombstones (that one is not finished)... and we bought a Skull that just looks beautiful in that hat. We've got a pretty decent collection so far with a couple of bigger items arriving from Ebay on Monday or Tuesday hopefully. We're building and painting and collecting and organising... I am so excited, and it's still 3 frickin months away... things to do before that...

Such as a Wine Tour.. (Meagan - Keep me posted)...
My sister is due to have her baby in about a week...
My mum's birthday is 2 days before Halloween - and she's flying over to Dubai the day between. Why she wants to go to a Muslim country that executes people for being gay when she has a gay son, I will never know. That's definitely an economy I will not be supporting!

Anyways.. For those of you that didn't see me at work today, I've had a hair cut (as you can tell in the pics above). And yes, I did it to lose that extra 150 grams of hair for weigh-in day. Every little bit counts! lol

And that's about it...

Until tomorrow night peeps...

Please leave comments, questions, queries and abuse as always...

Gazzy.