Quickie Weigh In Day

Hey all

I'll update properly tomorrow.. had a long draining day at work today...

As I commented in the last entry, I was expecting a bad result this week... and I was right...

Weighed in at 143.8kg... a 1kg gain since last week!!

That brings total loss down to 7.5kgs.

So, it's not the best... but it was expected.. and with a wedding and christmas and whatnot ahead of me... I'm not going to stress too much till after new years... Not giving up.. just not stressing about EVERYTHING...

And, that's the weigh in result... I'll be back, properly, tomorrow...

That's All Folks....

Gazzy

Success or Failure

I've been having a bad couple of days, diet wise. I'm struggling. Today I was just wanted to eat something... There's not much in the house at the moment... But I managed to make fairy bread. I know what you're thinking - because right after I ate it... I said to myself, "What the fuck was that about?"

I don't know. Maybe I just can't do this. My motivation has fluttered away... and I think back to when I first started back in June and I did that Leven Canyon walk... What happened? Now I'm sitting in front of the TV eating frickin' sugar on bread!

I know I need to stop this. I know I need to be healthier. I'm not going to stop trying because I can't - What's the alternative? Get fatter and fatter until I can't walk? That is not acceptable! I never thought it would be so hard to do this. People seem to eat well and exercise so easily - I knew it wouldn't be easy for me, I knew because of how large and unfit I had let myself get, that this would be more difficult. But it's so much harder than I thought.

So what can I do?

Well, I've been thinking.... Lap Band surgery. I know it 'sounds' drastic, but it's key-hole surgery... it's proven. I know people that have had this fitted and it works. It worries me. I didn't want to go that far. I really believe I could do this myself... and I think, maybe...

I honestly truly, don't know what to do now? David has been good with not having take away.. but I've still managed to put on weight. I've had my birthday with left over cake... my brother's birthday is tomorrow... so probably more cake... And Christmas is fast approaching.... So, I guess December's lost.

I've referred to this lifestyle change as a war against food... and lately food seems to be winning. And that sucks... How can food have such a impact on me?

I have a friend, who I haven't talked to in quite a while (which sucks, cos she's awesome) who is a hypnotherapist. I think in January I'm going to go visit her for a session and see if she can't knock the food addiction out of me. While she's in there, she might be able to get the smoking thing out as well.

I just thought I should share with you all how I'm feeling at the moment. I feel that every single day is a test and a challenge that I can't deal with... but I'm still working on it and I will keep trying.... And trying and trying...

Any ideas to help with motivation? Comment, please.

Gazzy

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sorry I've been absent guys. Had a busy few days. Now it's Sunday and I've got some time, so here I am for a big-size update.

Thursday was weigh in day. And the result?? I had a gain of 0.4kgs. A GAIN! Now, I know why this happened... I haven't been secretly devouring King-Size Picnic bars if that's what you think! But I did go a little crazy on the Weight Watchers food. It was very tasty muffin bars and yum yum ice cream dessert and all that stuff. Of course, it was Weight Watchers so it was 'Lighter' than the alternative... but, I must have that Marjorie Dawes (from Little Britain) subconscious attitude.. "Well, because it's Half the Fat, You can Have Twice as Much!". I did eat a fair bit of that stuff over the days... and the yummy fresh fruit I bought has gone soft in the fruit bowl. The weight watchers things were supposed to be when I'm craving and NEED something sweet.. but when they were in the house, I NEEDED them all the time. I know I would've had more self-control over non-Weight Watchers dessert....

Anyway, it's done. It was a gain... Moving on...

So Thursday... Special K for breakfast and then I drove up to Launceston (couple of hours away) to catch up with David's mum, sister and to meet his nana. Was a lovely day. We went out for an early lunch - I had the breakfast (2 poached eggs, 2 rashers bacon, grilled tomato with sourdough bread - was delicious!) - and then we did a little shopping. His sister and I needed clothes for the wedding next weekend. So we ate, we shopped, we coffee'd and I came home.... And David cooked Beef Strog for din-dins.

Friday was my 27th Birthday. I'm now in my 'late 20s' instead of mid-20s. Oh No! So, I had Special K for breakfast again... and then dad called to see what I was up to for the day. Nothing. David was at work, so it was going to be a quiet day. So, dad came over and we hung out for the day. We did some Christmas shopping and we went for lunch at Cafe Bliss... who know me too well. They knew it was my birthday and bought my lunch out with a candle in it! :) Then, later on I had some friends from work around for a BBQ. Nothing fancy or big, just a few people sitting around gossiping and bitching. Was good.

Yesterday was pretty quiet. Just hung around the house, did some housework and stuff. Mini-Wheats for breakfast and leftover BBQ meat and salad for lunch. Then it was off to mum and dad's for a Birthday BBQ (yes, another BBQ) with the family. Was a good night... Nice to catch up with everyone... despite not living too far away, we don't all spend that much time together... which we should probably do. So, we were there kinda late... and then we came home tired, watched an episode or two of Bewitched and went to bed... And I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow... I forgot to mention... We watched Bewitched because that's what David got me for my birthday... he said I could pick whatever I wanted and it was in KMart and I couldn't say no. The entire series box set... I know, I'm gay... :)

And I guess that brings us to today. I was going to go to Ulverstone to see the Santa Fun Run thing for charity. I want to do it next year... and wanted to check it out today. But, I overslept... I didn't have enough time to get there before it started... Oh well. So, I've just been doing some more housework... and wasting time on Facebook and of course catching up on the Blog!! :) Boring!!!

So, the other day when dad and I were hanging out... we found a treadmill in Kmart for $190. So, with birthday money collected.. I bought it and brought it home. AND... it's not capable of holding my weight (FAIL!) It's got a maximum capacity of 90kg - so if I'd only been 100ish, I would've used it... but I've a fair amount of weight over 90kgs, so not going to try... Guess I'll have to borrow mum and dad's for a little bit longer! So, again, if someone finds one for sale... let me know!

I guess birthdays are the time of year we tend to think about the past and future. I've been thinking about all the things I wish I had done different or done at all. I've been thinking of all the good choices I've made and what bad decisions I've made that have led me to good things in my life. And I've been thinking towards the future and I know I want more out of life. I've discussed it before. I want more, I want to do stuff. I feel like I'm missing out on so so much. There are so many experiences I haven't had. But, for that to happen I need to get rid of some debt. 2010 is about getting fit and getting out of debt (as much as possible)... we'll focus out finances on those debts and try to move them... We'll see how we go.... I'm eager to do things, but, I just don't know. I guess I'm going into the year not really knowing what it holds.... And I'm okay with that..

Anyways guys... this was a pretty long update.

For my regular readers, you'll know I'm fascinated with religions and stuff... and I just bought a copy of the Koran. I'm gonna try to read/study that. Did you know it was a Penguin Classic book?? Found it in Angus and Robertson!! :)

Alrighty guys... the new weeks here... stay tuned!

Gazzy

PS. Meagan - the cake was delicious! Thank you! Everyone loved it! :)

Non-Update

Hey guys

Just a super quickie tonight. Special K for breaky, Savoury Muffin and coffee for lunch... and was naughty for dinner tonight. Had chicken kiev and chips... oven cooked. Had a shitty day at work and got home after 8 and was SO SO SO tempted to have KFC or something... but didn't. I know this just proves that I'm still emotionally eating and that is something I will have to try and change. It's not healthy... But, it's done, so what do you do??

It's weigh in day tomorrow, so stay tuned... :) we'll see. I've got a feeling there wont be much movement on the scales this week, but we shall see!

Good Night

Gazzy

Update! Update! Read All About It!

Hello Everyone

Let's do this update....

Saturday - Mini Wheats for breakfast, coffee before work, chicken wrap and coffee for lunch and for dinner I had a Weight Watchers microwave Spaghetti meal. David was out at his work christmas dinner, so I had the house to myself. Didn't want to cook a big meal for myself, so just a microwave dinner and it was really, really good... I was convinced, before eating it, that it was not going to be enough food and I was gonna eat something else. But, I was good.

Sunday - Special K for breakfast and then my brother & I went to Penguin Market. My word, it has changed. We went expecting to be there for a large chunk of the day like usual when we go... We walked around all the stalls which are all exactly the same as we remember. It took maybe half an hour to browse through and then we sat and had a coffee in the little outdoor courtyardy thing there. Was good to be out of the house, but I must say, in my opionion the market has gone down hill. So, then we came home. And I cooked some delicious Savoury Muffins. They really are delicious - I'm so modest. So I cooked a dozen of those and then I made a Italian-Style meatloaf for dinner. Pretty basic but was excellent. Served with heaps of vegies and was wonderful. Then a little later in the night I had a Weight Watchers Cookies and Cream dessert bar. Which are really yummy too.

Monday - Another work day, but a late shift. Ended up sleeping till late, so had a late breakfast of Special K and the mandatory coffee before work. Actually packed a lunch box to take to work (wowsers!). Just a savoury muffin and one of those Weight Watchers Black Forest muffin bars, but was enough to keep me satisfying till I got home. By the time I got home it was almost 11pm and I just had some leftover meatloaf for dinner and a Weight Watchers dessert bar again.

And that brings us to today: Mini Wheats for breakfast again and lots of coffee. A couple of savoury muffins for lunch (they're not very big, but now I know to make them bigger next time). And finally got on the treadmill again today. Been a few days. Feel guilty every time I see the machine and it's in the lounge room so I see it all the time. But, I finally got back on it... and it felt good to be doing something good. And for dinner tonight I cooked another test meal. Bacon & Pumpkin Pesto Pasta. Was delicious... And, there enough for leftovers for lunch tomorrow... even better!

And that's the update!

So, my last post, the religious one... got a couple of good comments. Apparently, I've been told, religion is a bit of a touchy subject. People don't like discussing it. Why? Is faith a dirty little secret? Is your faith not strong enough to handle questions? That's what I don't get... Religious folk don't like to defend their faith or beliefs. I'll quite happily say that I don't understand the Big Bang Theory. I don't know how a plethora of chemicals could explode and create Earth and all it's inhabitants. I don't understand it... and I wouldn't say I believe it either. But, to me, the idea of the Big Bang is more plausible than the Genesis creation.

Maybe I should stop talking about religion and faith. I know it interests me, but this blog is supposed to be about me and my life, not about me questioning other peoples faith.

So, let's talk life... It's my birthday at the end week. Then my brother and my sister's birthdays and David's brother's wedding and then Christmas. Busy Busy couple of weeks. Don't think New Years will be too adventurous this year. We'll probably be asleep before the big countdown to 2010. Like Usual.

So... it's kinda late now, so I'm off to Dreamland. (in my head, not the Gold Coast... I wish!)

So goodnight all and I will see you all tomorrow!

Gazzy.

A Quickie

Hey Guys

Sorry I haven't posted over the weekend. Saturday I was working and yesterday my brother and I went to the Penguin Market and he hang out at ours till late last night... so I haven't had a chance to post...

Even now I'm about to get ready to go to work... So I'm not going to get a chance to post tonight either I'm afraid... but rest assured, I will return tomorrow night with a real post!!

Hope you've all had a great weekend!

Gazzy

Religion! Buy It Now! As Seen on TV

Have you noticed the Jesus ads on TV. I know it's Christmas time... and Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. But how many people think of Jesus at this time. If you accept that god and Jesus are legit - do you really think they would be happy with how commercial and tacky Christmas is nowadays. I don't think that this type of Christmas is what they had in mind. I would imagine Christmas is supposed to be a time to reflect on the life of Jesus and pray and get in touch with your faith.
If you don't accept that god and Jesus are real, then why celebrate Christmas at all? I know what you're thinking - 'Garry, you celebrate Christmas and you're an atheist!' Well.... I try not to celebrate Christmas, but I enjoy my family... and they enjoy Christmas. So we buy presents and we go to family Christmas gatherings... but we don't decorate the house at all.... we keep Christmas detached. I like to think of it as helping/participating in other's celebration of Christmas. Personally, I could go without. Plus, with the commercial-ness of it all... I end up flat broke by the end of December (My brother, sister and my birthdays are all within 2 weeks before Christmas).

So, I don't really understand. I think I ask my family every single year why we celebrate Christmas? I think dad's response last year was that we're part of a country that celebrates Christmas. It's a christian society and we're a part of that... Plus, the whole family thing...

But are we a 'Christian Society'? I mean, I thought Australia was the multi-cultural country? What percentage of Australia even bothers to go to church on Christmas and Easter? I'm guessing not a huge percentage. Most people just like to have a day off work or whatever. Not to mention the people who are religious but not Jesus worshippers. What about the other religions that people follow in Australia? We've got Muslims, Jews and Scientologists and probably quite a few other religions in Australia... and they don't get public holidays for their days of worship.

But anyways, I was talking about the TV ads.... 'Find Jesus' and stuff. Who are these ads designed for? Do they think a 30second religious guilt-trip is going to convert people to catholicism? I mean... really? What's the deal?

I had some 'bible bashers' (cos I'm not sure they were mormons) come to the house a few weeks ago... and my friend Joy was helping me unload groceries from the car... and they went up to her and said, 'We know you're busy, but please take this' and handed her a god pamphlet... Fine.
The next week, I was home alone listening to music and there was a knock on the door. It was these 'bible bashers' back again. The older one introduces herself and her 'little sister'. She says to me "We came around last week and gave a pamphlet to someone. I don't know if it was your wife or girlfriend...?"
I said, "Oh, no. She's just a friend. I live here with my boyfriend."

They said Thanks and left pretty fast. Obviously not trained to cure the gay door-to-door. Unreal. I mean, maybe I still wanted some material... maybe I still wanted to be a part of the church and praise Jesus. Well, bad luck for me. Homos not welcome...

Anyways, I'm dribbling again... The point I'm trying to make is that Australia is multi-cultural and religion is excluding... So why is there such a Catholic/Christian basis for Australia... politics and holidays etc. If it wasn't for religion... I would be allowed to get married. But because the Vatican doesn't want it to happen they interprete the scripture to say I can't. It's Rubbish... and the worst part is... the Vatican is more evil and corrupt that anywhere. All those child-sex cover ups that they've participated in... and the money they convince the old/dying people to give up... I just don't understand why anyone would listen to a Nazi with a pointy hat!?

OK... I'm stopping... moving on...


Mini-Wheats for breakfast, as usual... Then met up with a couple of good friends to go check out 'New Moon'. I didn't like Twilight, but New Moon's trailer looked more exciting... Yeah, still don't get it really.... I mean, it's alright, but I've seen better movies with better stories.. But, the lack of excitement for the film didn't stop me having a great day. Movie and then gossip and coffee for a couple of hours. Next thing you know it's 6:30!! Wowsers! So all I had for lunch was one of those Biggest Loser meal replacement shakes, which are alright but the Celebrity Slim ones are much nicer (in my opinion)... So I started cooking dinner. Was keen to try something different again so made Chicken & Mushroom Hungarian style Meatballs in a Capsicum and Paprika Sauce. Long name I know... and it's still cooking. It's frickin 8:00pm and it's still cooking... oh well... And I was hungry while cooking so I ate a Weight Watchers muffin bar, black forest.

These Weight Watchers things are good. Might try some other brands of these sort of diet products too. It's always good to have a bit of variety and they don't seem to have a massive range in each brand... But now that I know these Weight Watchers ones are good, I'm not too scared to try the others!

So had a good day... didn't get on the treadmill though, but you know, life comes first right?

Gazzy

It's Another Weigh In Day....

It's Thursday again... and that means weigh in day! It' s been a full week of my kick-start program thing... even if I haven't stuck to the original plan, I have been careful and I've been exercising and I've actually enjoyed it...

And the result... 142.4 That's a 2 kilo loss since last week!!! A 2 kilo loss!!! Excellent! Very happy with that result. That brings total loss (since June) to 8.6 kilos. Which is great.... Now for those of you who've been reading and following for a while, you'll know that I HAD lost over 10kilos before... so I haven't got back to that weight yet, but 8.6 is great...

But the holidays are approaching... I've got 3 birthdays (including my own), a wedding and Christmas... so I'm hoping a can keep myself in control and not gain. I'm not going to be too worried if I stay around the same week-to-week... but for the month of December I would really like a loss, not a gain. But we will see. It's not the end of the world if I gain. As I've written before, it's about lifestyle changes... it's about eating the right things at the right times and getting into routines and being more adventurous with the foods I try, without resorting back to the easy and boring and quite bad food that I've been comfortable with eating all the time before.

So today's food report: I tried David's Milo cereal this morning (yes, he's started eating cereal for breakfast instead of half a family block of chocolate)... was alright... he can keep it. I prefer the mini-wheats. I had dim sims with a splash of soy for lunch and a kiwi fruit this afternoon. We did grocery shopping after work this evening... and after the awesomeness that was Weight Watchers desserts last week... I decided to try some Weight Watchers meals. That is a Weight Watchers lasagne that I had for dinner and it was actually really really good. Usually I try to avoid these 'diet' branded foods because they have a reputation of being tasteless and whatever, but it was delicious. Could eat it all the time. I bought 2 other meals and I'm thinking, that I might have those 2 or 3 times a week with salad or vegies or whatever as a balance thing. Good plan?

Alrighty folks. Well, I'm off to watch 'The Prisoner'. Not a bad little mini-series. Weird but interesting, a little bizarre and very absorbing.

Good Night.

Gazzy.

Wednesday Hangover... (not really)

Hi Guys, it's getting late, so just a quick update for today...

Special K for breaky, coffee before work, Chicken wrap for lunch with coffee, a Tomato and Onion Sausage slow-cooker casseroley thing with lots of vegies and Plums with a little ice cream for dessert.... the end.

We just finished watching 'The Hangover' and it is really really funny... and I recommend to anyone who likes a good laugh. Very good.

Not much happened today... just another day at work today. I guess yesterday's post got a little... weird.. or something. Oh well... for some reason those thoughts were in my head yesterday and I wanted to share. It was probably obvious that more research into the topics were needed...

Anyways, today was an alright day. Didn't get on the treadmill today though... finished work just after 7pm so was really not up for it when I got home. When I first got the tready I was up early every morning to have a go before work... but I just can't seem to get the motivation to that now. Maybe I just need my sleep too bad. I'm getting old you know... Next week is my birthday! Lucky me... another year older... another year closer to the big 3-0. Still a while away... only turning 27 next week...

Alright guys, I'm heading off... Bianka, I'm thinking of you!

Good Night.

Gazzy.

New World Order

OK... I wanna get the report out of the way quick tonight...
Mini-Wheats, Apple, Dim Sims for lunch, Turkey Schnitzel with potato, steamed sweet potato, broc & beans. Delicious. 2 lots of 30mins on the treadmill today as well, while catching up on The Vampire Diaries (still dunno if I wanna keep watching it...)

Anyways, onto the title of tonight's posting....

What image does New World Order bring to mind to you? For me, for some reason, the term brings up images of chaos and misery. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense that these 3 words New-World-Order would inspire such a reaction. I didn't even know what it was referring to until today.

My brother and I have discussed, many times, the idea of having a One-World-Government. Being science-fiction fans, we've watched many films and television programs that have a One-World Government. The idea is that the One-World-Government would create equality across the planet. No one would starve, no one would go without medical help, every person would have opportunities. We've discussed it several times but only recently found out that other people have discussed this. New World Order (NWO) refers to this.

Reading up online about it I've found several pages that referred to a NWO as a satanic plan of domination. What? How?

Well, think about it. How would a World Government work with the state of the planet how it is now? It couldn't. People have divided themselves into the religious groups. Not just religion, but race. We have such a division of people that it seems awesome and mysterious to think of a place that could be truly diverse.

We've been watching a program on the ABC called John Safran's Race Relations. There have been many instances on this program that people have said that they should marry within their race or religion. That interracial and inter-faith marriage and relationships damage the history and heritage of a people.

With that kind of an attitude towards fellow human beings, it's no wonder people think that a NWO is satanic.

And does it matter? Do we need to plan a NWO? It seems like America is doing a pretty good job of turning the whole world into them. At the top of the page with the food photos.. there is a photo that my mum took while away in Dubai (ok, not Dubai, but around there, I don't remember the name of the place). McDonalds. The other photo is from Google Images, but it's a real photo. There are 25, 663 McDonald's restaurants in the world and 12, 859 of those restaurants are in countries other than the United States. I mean, I know that is not the US government trying to take over the world. This is corporate America trying to make money from every single person on the planet. But the more and more we become used to seeing McDonald's, Coke, Pepsi and all these other 'American' brands and imagery, would we even notice if the US moved in and took over? Corporate and Suburban take-over. Most homes in Australia have a bottle of coke in the fridge and eat a Big Mac on occasion.

And does that matter? Is Australia's identity important? Is race and religious pride appropraite and important still? I have never been one to preach Gay Pride. I don't think we need a pride parade. I don't want a pride parade. What I DO want is equality. And I think that's what most people want. Everyone has the same rights and resposibilities and importance in a community. I don't care if a person is black, muslim, white, jewish, catholic, asian, Whatever!?! All I care about is if a person is a good human being.

On the last episode of Glee (I know, but don't give up on me yet) they did a version of John Lennon's Imagine with a deaf choir. Anyway, on a fan forum for the show someone said that the song was 'nice' but it was naive to believe in it because without countries and religion we would not have rules or morality. What? Really? I believe in what John Lennon was singing about. Without religion and seperation of people, we could all work together to repair and maintain the planet and help each other. There have been 20,000 religions since humanity showed up on the scene and how can ONE of them be correct. They can't. We need to shed this need to know something devine and focus and the wonder and awe that is Earth and Mankind and work towards a brighter future together.

OK. Enough of that. I wish my thoughts came out in a better order and I could structure what I'm trying to say better. This could make an interesting essay or study project, but it's just my blog... and that's how it is... please feel free to comment, I'd love to hear everyones thought on any and all of the subjects I've touched upon.

And with that, I'm off. Good Night.

Gazzy.

"Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace..."

John Lennon